Dain Dunston shares how his understanding of executive presence goes far beyond polish or performance, defining it as knowing where you are and who you’re being in each moment so people feel truly seen and heard. He traces this way of being back to formative experiences from deep, unexpected teenage conversations on a balcony overlooking Sydney Harbor, to a life-changing “crossroads moment” in Western Kansas where his listening helped a stranger reconsider declaring bankruptcy. Dain unpacks his lifelong exploration of presence, radical self-awareness, and coherence, showing how he moved from writing speeches for top executives to coaching them on their presence on stage and in the C-suite. The conversation also moves into profoundly personal territory as Dain discusses the recent loss of his wife and how he navigated grief by fully being with what is through caregiving, allowing himself to feel, and ultimately releasing deeply held emotions in a powerful moment by a lakeside wedding stage. Along the way, he and Mitchell explore life as an odyssey, the risk of “forgetting who we are,” and why real leadership in a rapidly changing world is less about title or strategy and more about who you are being, how present you are with others, and how you use that presence to serve and uplift the people around you. Key Takeaways

* Treat executive presence as knowing where you are and who you’re being in the moment, not just how polished you look or how well you perform.

* Remember that who you are being matters more than what you’re saying; people feel your presence before they process your words.

* Deep leadership often starts with deep listening: creating spaces (like Dain’s Sydney Harbor balcony) where people feel safe to share what they’ve never voiced before.

* Life is an odyssey, not a straight line expects ups, downs, pauses, and “lotus moments” where you forget who you are, then consciously find your way back home.

* Real growth requires radical self-awareness being honest about your patterns, including how you may have sabotaged relationships or success in the past.

* Grief and loss aren’t problems to solve but experiences to be present with; fully feeling and expressing emotion is a crucial part of healing.

Powerful Quotes

* “Executive presence is just the ability to know where you are. We spend so much time unconscious of who we’re being, and when we can really get better at that, things really start to change.”

* “In that moment at the crossroads, you don’t just get to choose which direction you’re going to turn; you have to change who you’re being to do it.”

* “If we can either be with what’s going on, or be able to change it, and if we can’t change it, be at home with it, then that changes who we’re being.”

Timestamps

[00:00] Mitchell introduces author Dain Dunston and asks Dain what executive presence means to him. [00:36] Dain defines executive presence as knowing where you are and who you’re being in the moment, explaining how awareness changes how we listen and are being listened to. [01:40] Dain shares his teenage balcony experience overlooking Sydney Harbor, where friends unexpectedly opened up deeply, and he discovered the power of deep listening and good questions. [03:46] Dain tells his “crossroads moment” story in Western Kansas at age 21, hitchhiking with a farmer headed to declare bankruptcy, and how their conversation led the man to turn around. [07:44] Dain explains his evolution from writing speeches and directing big conferences to coaching top executives on who they are being on stage and in the Cushite. [09:28] Dain describes his life in a small artist village outside Austin, Texas, his community of writers and musicians, and how he spends his days walking dogs, hiking, working out, writing, and coaching. [10:46] Dain talks about being “hijacked by neuroscientists,” his involvement with the NPN Hub on neuroplasticity, and collaborating on work around reclaiming genius. [12:23] Dain shares his core values of radical self-awareness and presence, why he avoids the word “enlightenment,” and his commitment to living what he writes in his book Being Essential. [13:12] Dain reveals that his beloved wife recently passed away after a period of cognitive decline and hospice, and Mitchell asks how someone so focused on presence navigates such a massive loss. [14:03] Dain describes being fully present through his wife’s decline and caregiving, then facing his own grief afterward, including a health scare with extreme blood pressure that had no physical cause. [20:03] At a lakeside retreat, Dain begins talking to his late wife “in the water” and, the next day, stepping onto a white wedding stage, he experiences a powerful, uncontrollable release of grief. [22:49] Mitchell and Dain dive into the idea of coherence: staying whole and grounded when plans fail, and circumstances change, and how leaders can respond from a coherent state. [27:26] Dain reflects on today’s world as a major turning point in history, comparing it to past eras of upheaval, and challenges leaders to focus on service, contribution, and helping others. [29:54] Mitchell and Dain connect leadership to CPOP (Customer Point of Possibilities), shifting from self-interest to expanding what’s possible for others. [30:48] Mitchell closes by inviting listeners to share their biggest aha moments from Dain’s stories on social media, tag both, and use the conversation to positively impact their own audiences.

Conclusion:

In this heartfelt and thought-provoking conversation, Mitchell Levy and Dain Dunston show that true leadership isn’t about titles, polish, or perfectly executed strategies; it’s about presence, coherence, and the courage to be fully human. Through stories of Sydney Harbor, a dusty Kansas crossroads, corporate boardrooms, and the intimate terrain of grief, Dain illustrates how knowing who you are being in each moment changes everything: how you lead, how you love, and how you serve. If you take one thing from this episode, let it be this: your greatest impact as a leader comes not from what you achieve, but from the quality of your presence and the way people are changed by being in it. Resources & Links

Connect with Dain Dunston

* Website: http://www.daindunston.com

Get full access to Mitchell Levy Presents at mitchelllevy.substack.com/subscribe