For most of her adult life, Marlou Kamphuis looked like she had it all – a vibrant social life, a successful career, travel, relationships, and an enviable, “Instagram-able” life from the outside.

But beneath the surface, she was disconnected from her emotions, deeply afraid of being alone, and unknowingly driven by beliefs formed long before she could name them.

In this episode of Deprogram Diaries, Marlou and I sit down to unpack her six-year journey with inner growth work, meditation, and emotional healing – including the moment her life cracked open after heartbreak, a diagnosis of severe depression, and a pivotal two-week intervention that changed everything.

We go deep into:

• What it’s like to appear confident and successful while feeling emotionally disconnected inside

• How emotional neglect can exist even in “good” childhoods

• The roots of love addiction, external validation, and fear of being alone

• Why suppressing emotions keeps patterns alive — and how learning to feel changes them

• How unprocessed pain fueled relationship dynamics, imposter syndrome, and over-proving at work

• The emotional processing work that helped her heal heartbreak without medication

• What self-love actually looks like when it’s embodied — not conceptual

• How changing your internal world naturally reshapes your relationships, career, and sense of safety

This is a raw, compassionate conversation about learning to sit with pain instead of running from it – and how doing so creates real freedom, intimacy, and trust in yourself.

If you’ve ever felt successful on the outside but empty, anxious, or dependent on others for a sense of safety… if you’ve struggled with relationships, self-worth, or imposter syndrome despite “doing all the work”… this episode will land.

If you’d like to explore this work more deeply, you can learn about Deprogram Level One here:⁠⁠https://www.deprogram.co/deprogram-level-one

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