What can you actually learn about someone in the early stages of dating, before you’re emotionally invested enough to explain everything away?

Dating advice tends to focus on the obvious red flags. But some of the most useful information about a potential partner isn’t hidden at all. It’s tucked inside the stories they tell, the way they describe past relationships, how they respond when you disappoint them, and what happens when they’re wrong.

In this episode of Collectively Unhinged: Therapy Talk, therapists Courtnie and Melisa take a different approach to dating red flags. Instead of trying to diagnose the person across the table or treating every imperfect behavior as a reason to run, we’re talking about how to pay attention to relational patterns.

We unpack why someone’s dating history isn’t necessarily the important part, but how they tell that history can be. Can they recognize their own mistakes? Was every breakup entirely someone else’s fault? What have they actually learned from the relationships they’ve had?

We also look at how people talk about those they dislike, why someone’s reaction to a small boundary or disappointment can tell you more than how they behave when everything is going their way, and what happens when you tell someone they’ve hurt you.

Because compatibility isn’t only about how much fun you have when things are good.

It’s also about what happens when something doesn’t go their way.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What someone’s dating history can and can’t tell you
• Why “all my exes were crazy” isn’t the only thing worth listening for
• Accountability and self-reflection after past relationships
• How someone talks about people they dislike
• What happens when you say no or disappoint them
• How people respond to boundaries
• What defensiveness can look like early in dating
• Why being able to admit you’re wrong matters
• Validation, accountability, and healthy repair
• Why small moments of conflict can reveal more than perfect dates

You learn a lot more about someone from their response to your “no” than their response to your “yes.”

And this is only Part 1. Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’re talking about the difference between attention and emotional attunement, the relationship beliefs people reveal without realizing it, what happens to you when you’re around someone, and the green flags that deserve a lot more attention.

🎙️ Hosted by therapists from Strong Mind Mental Health.

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🎵 INTRO MUSIC:

“Good Night” by FASSounds

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DISCLAIMER:

The information provided on this podcast, Collectively Unhinged: Therapy Talk, is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as therapy or a substitute for advice from a qualified professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship between you and the hosts or Strong Mind Mental Health, LLC. If you want to read more, check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Media Disclaimer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.