In this special episode of Mujeres Create, we look into the core psychology of the father wound and the essential role a father plays as the bridge to the outside world, establishing external safety and competence. I share the complex upbringing of my father, Ramon, the oldest of seven children in the Dominican Republic, who stepped into the provider role at just nine years old after my grandfather was brutally murdered at age 33. We unpack the realities of moving to New York City in the 1990s, working grueling night shifts as a taxi driver, and how emotional absence shapes a child’s perception of love. Through a life-altering kidney transplant journey at age 34, we discovered human vulnerability and healed our broken connection. This conversation provides actionable insights into recognizing wounded masculine energy, over-performance, and relationship avoidance, helping you foster deep compassion and achieve genuine emotional freedom.

CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS

00:00 – Introduction and returning to Mujeres Create 

01:15 – The role of the father: Safety, identity, and competence 

03:40 – Types of abandonment and how the father wound forms 

06:10 – Signs of the wound in women and men 

09:45 – The core complaint and reading recommendation from Mark Wolynn 

11:50 – Ramon’s story: The Beijo family lineage in the Dominican Republic 

14:30 – Generational struggle and the impact of the grandfather’s murder 

17:15 – Immigrating to New York City in the 90s and taxi driver realities 

20:40 – Emotional absence vs survival mode and developing empathy 

23:55 – The kidney transplant: A turning point for deep vulnerability 

27:10 – Healing strategies: Letters, journaling, and starting small 

30:15 – Breaking the cyclical pattern and Father’s Day wishes

FAQ

What exactly constitutes a father wound? A father wound is the psychological deficit or emotional trauma caused by a father’s physical absence, emotional detachment, abuse, or strict conditioning, which undermines a child’s sense of safety.

How does working around the clock contribute to emotional neglect? When a parent works continuous night shifts for financial survival, the small window of daily contact leaves children feeling neglected, even if the parent is successfully fulfilling the physical provider role.

How can you process a father wound if the relationship cannot be repaired? You can build a safe space through solo therapeutic practices such as writing an unsent letter to express your pain, consistent journaling, and learning to separate your self-worth from past paternal validation.

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