Thank you for listening and supporting This Might Help.

In this week’s episode, we explore people-pleasing: the tendency to prioritise others’ needs, emotions, and comfort at the expense of one’s own. While often perceived as kindness, people-pleasing can contribute to resentment, emotional exhaustion, and a diminished sense of self, and is associated with poorer mental health outcomes.

We examine the psychological underpinnings of this pattern, drawing on research and theory related to social conditioning, attachment, and stress responses, and consider why people-pleasing may disproportionately affect women.

The episode concludes with practical, evidence-informed strategies to help reduce people-pleasing tendencies, including developing assertive communication, setting healthy boundaries, and making decisions that align with your values.

You can find us on socials @thismighthelppodcast – ⁠Instagram⁠ and ⁠TikTok

The full video version of this episode is available on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/@thismighthelppodcast

Some of the key research we chat about can be found below:

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.

Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualisation of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032

Simpson, J. A., & Rholes, W. S. (2017). Adult attachment, stress, and romantic relationships. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 19–24. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2016.04.006

YouGov. (2022). Women are more likely than men to identify as people-pleasers. https://yougov.com/en-us/articles/43498-women-more-likely-men-people-pleasing-poll

Some additional resources can be found here:

Braiker, H. B. (2001). The disease to please: Curing the people-pleasing syndrome. McGraw-Hill.

Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From surviving to thriving: A guide and map for recovering from childhood trauma. Azure Coyote Publishing.

Tawwab, N. G. (2021). Set boundaries, find peace: A guide to reclaiming yourself. Piatkus.

”How to Stop Being a People Pleaser”: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-color-of-wellness/202310/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser

Additional support can be found through:

Beyond Blue – https://www.beyondblue.org.au 1300 22 4636 

LifeLine – https://988lifeline.org/get-help/ 13 11 14 

Headspace – https://headspace.org.au 1800 650 890 (for those aged 25 or under)