What happens when the world teaches you to shrink yourself long before you learn how to love yourself?

And who do you become when the body you’ve spent years fighting finally becomes the body you choose to honour?

In this episode of the Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Cheryl Tay, Chief Editor, Baseline Media and Founder, Rock The Naked Truth, sits down with Benjamin Byrne, content creator The Smiling Afro, for a conversation that moves through shame, courage, identity, and the unspoken shadows we carry in our relationships — especially the relationship we have with ourselves.

Cheryl’s journey began with years of dieting, over-exercising, and striving for a body that felt “acceptable” enough to earn love, visibility, and belonging. She shares candidly about the internal narratives that shaped her adolescence and early adulthood — the belief that worthiness was tied to perfection, discipline, and physical control. But it wasn’t just about size; it was about safety. About hiding the parts of herself she feared others might judge.

Her relational world cracked open when she fell in love with someone unexpected — a woman, her best friend. This love forced her to confront the biggest shadow of all: the fear of losing belonging for choosing truth. Coming out meant risking family acceptance, unsettling cultural expectations, and standing firm in a version of herself that didn’t fit the script she was raised with. It required courage, grief, and a deep re-examination of love as not something you “earn,” but something you allow.

Through therapy and self-exploration, Cheryl learned to dismantle the emotional habits of over-giving, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment. She now sees love — romantic and platonic — as a space where honesty is the highest form of intimacy.

If you’ve ever found yourself:

— Feeling unworthy because of your body or your past

— Afraid to be fully seen by the people who matter most

— Torn between belonging and authenticity

— Loving someone who challenges old definitions of identity

— Or trying to break the cycle of self-abandonment…

This episode is for you.

It’s a reminder that love doesn’t demand perfection —

it demands presence.

And the moment you stop performing is the moment you finally come home to yourself.

GOODIES FROM WILDFLOWER STUDIOS!

– Use code CLEANYOURTOILET at checkout for $40 off their ‘Chill & Paint with Cats’ workshop. An hour is $20 per person, so they want to encourage you to bring a friend or family member!

– 10 codes valid till end January 2026

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