THIS IS THE PART NO ONE TALKS ABOUT: 

Growth as a faith leader is directly tied to your capacity to carry and process pain well. What you don’t transform, you will inevitably transmit. It will come out in your church, your team, or your family. In this episode, we go beneath the surface of leadership success and explore the real, raw process God uses to shape your soul.

Episode Summary:
Leadership isn’t just about vision-casting, strategic planning, or building platforms. It’s about learning to lead through pain. In this episode, Jose shares personal reflections on leadership wounds, the loneliness of responsibility, and how God uses pain as a crucible for transformation. Drawing from Samuel Chand’s Leadership Pain, scripture, and real-world experience, this conversation exposes the often-ignored truths of the leader’s journey and how to make peace with pain instead of running from it. Whether you’re a pastor, coach, creative, or organizational leader, this episode is for anyone who’s ever whispered, “I didn’t know it would hurt this much.”

Takeaways:

1. The Deeper the Pain, the Greater the Potential. “You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.” — Samuel Chand Pain is not the enemy of your calling; it’s often the pathway God uses. Every level of leadership requires a new level of dying to self, and many leaders quit because no one prepared them for the pain.

Reflection Question: Are you resisting what God is using to refine you?

2. Pain Is a Part of the Process. Pain reshapes your identity. Loss, betrayal, and chronic pressure force us to redefine what success really means. As Dr. Chand writes, “Pain is the classroom where God teaches His deepest lessons.” Transformation is always personal before it’s public. While God doesn’t waste your pain, He won’t bypass it either.

3. You Can’t Lead Well if You Don’t Lament Honestly
Church culture often rushes to “hope” while bypassing “hurt.” Leaders need to reengage the lost discipline of lament. David wrote his most powerful psalms from caves, not castles (Psalm 142). Jesus wept before He resurrected Lazarus. True leadership honors emotion without being ruled by it.

Takeaway Practice: Try a 5-minute journaling exercise where you write honestly about your leadership wounds as a form of prayer.

Bonus Resources:

From Leadership Pain by Samuel Chand:

• “You’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.”
• “Discomfort can be a catalyst for growth. It makes us yearn for something more. It forces us to change, stretch, and adapt.”
• “Pain is a part of progress. Anything that grows experiences some pain. If I avoid all pain, I’m avoiding growth.”

Spiritual Practices for Processing Pain:

• Pray Lament Psalms: Start with Psalm 13, 77, or 88.
• Soul Check-ins: Ask yourself weekly, “What’s bleeding in me that I’m trying to lead through?”

This is the Perfect Listen For:

• Pastors and spiritual leaders battling burnout
• Visionaries navigating disappointment
• Emerging leaders asking, “Is this normal?”
• Anyone carrying silent wounds while trying to lead well

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And most importantly, don’t walk through pain alone. Let us journey with you.