Ooh it's chilly here. Not just because we're inside a refrigerated unit. Something menacing has descended upon this corner of the underworld – and justice is about to be served cold. The boss has found an excellent, albeit terrifying, way to get people to talk. But watch out. Listen too long to The Big Muddler and you'll soon be spilling secrets yourself. 

Fortunately there are distractions. Let's join another radio phone-in – though don't those callers sound suspiciously famous? And they seem poetically scripted… No matter, let's now head down the music hall. It's that classic singalong With Her 'Ead Tucked Underneath Her Arm, crucified here by host Matthew Crampton, though he's ably aided by pianist Dorian Ford and a fine chorus (including, most audibly, the late and much loved Jan North). Today's Listed Jokes, would you believe it, are all about banjos – though we're just 'picking' the surface of the mountain of such material. 

Cowboys are the theme for this week's edition of The Rest is Jollity. Smitten by the Texan craze that's wafting through town, Melbury adopts the persona of Bronco Swanage – The Dorset Kid – and insists on singing classic Western toons. Matravers is understandably shocked by this cosplay cowpokery, yet nonetheless joins in on The Trail of the Lonesome Pine. 

If that wasn't enough, we also hear from sponsor Ruislip Robots. This week they're promoting their Forever Friends – your chance to embrace technology, quite literally, with a robot date that's constantly compliant and configured to your needs. 

Gosh, what a bundle of baloney. Once again Matthew Crampton was responsible for writing, performing and producing this audio 'entertainment'. Do get in touch with him if you have any complaints, concerns or – god forbid – compliments. Please do. The silence is killing him.

Daffodils (William Wordsworth) read by Flora Robson) on Poetry Choice / Legendary Voices Alto ALN1938 https://altocd.com/product/poetry-choice-legendary-voices/

Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day? Sonnet No. 18, (William Shakespeare) read by Anthony Quayle on Poetry Classics: Great Voices Alto ALN1918 https://www.prestomusic.com/classical/products/7990331–poetry-classics-great-voices

industry noise small electrical transformer by Garuda1982 — https://freesound.org/s/635185/ — License: Attribution 4.0

CAVE – pebble falling down,echo (SFX).wav by HermanDV — https://freesound.org/s/327110/ — License: Attribution NonCommercial 3.0

FGHTImpt_Punch Sounds Strong_Guilherme, Gabriel, Leonardo_DSBA by posdesigndesom — https://freesound.org/s/847838/ — License: Attribution 4.0

Muzak 3 by TeffyD1 — https://freesound.org/s/752531/ — License: Attribution 4.0

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