Do networking events terrify you? And what do you actually say at a networking event when you don't know anyone? In this episode, host Dani Raschel Chou and Nicolle Ketcham walk through one start to finish what to bring, where your name tag goes, which question to open with instead of “What do you do?”, and how to leave a conversation without apologizing for it.

Nicolle ”Nicki” Ketcham, co-founder of Big Future Consulting, helps professional service firms look more polished and communicate their brand online. She is also Dani's best friend, a returning guest, and, by Dani's description, a top-tier connector. This episode came directly from listener response to Ely Delaney's conversation about networking as an introvert, so Dani and Nicki set the usual format aside and built a practical networking 101 out of their own wins and misfires.

They start before you leave the house: what belongs on a business card, why you should print on stock you can write on, and why Nicki never goes anywhere without a pen. They cover the LinkedIn QR code workaround for the day your cards are still in the car, what to do when there's no cell service, and why scanning the guest list and finding the host in the first five minutes changes the whole evening.

In the room, the advice gets specific. Your name tag goes on your right shoulder so the other person's eyes travel up your arm as you shake hands. Your drink goes in your left hand so your right one is dry. Approach the person standing alone — they will be relieved. And stop opening with “So, what do you do?” Nicki's alternatives include “What are you working on that you're excited about?” and her favorite, “Who would be a helpful person for you to meet?” Dani's, when the banter is already good, is “How did you fail this week?”

The middle of the conversation is about listening: asking the follow-up question instead of pivoting to your own story, mirroring as a practiced technique, and Nicki's husband, who never tells anyone a thing about himself and still leaves every party as the most interesting man there. Dani shares a recent event where an introduction went badly enough that she went home, and what she would do differently. Nicki answers with Kacey Musgraves: ”You are not everybody's cup of tea.”

They close on the exit and the follow-up. Three exit lines that don't require an apology, the 24–48 hour follow-up window, why an obviously AI-generated email undoes the entire evening, and Dani's “human first, AI forward” take on using it well anyway. Nicki's metric for a good event is deliberately small: three real conversations, one helpful introduction, or one person you genuinely want to follow up with.

Items/topics specifically mentioned throughout the conversation: Ely Delaney's episode on networking as an introvert; the Rubin Brothers episode; The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann; Dallas Meetup; Chicks with Stix, a women's golf networking event at PGA Frisco; Big Bend; the AEC (architecture, engineering and construction? community in Dallas–Fort Worth; and the North Texas casting call for Frisco King that came out of one compliment at one event.

Chapters

0:00   Cold open: you're already networking

0:15   Why we're doing a networking episode

1:52   There's no wrong way to start

2:26   Run clubs, Gen Z, and the pull toward community

3:34   Introducing yourself when you're brand new

4:11   Nobody remembers but you

4:40   Pre-work: what belongs on your business card

5:49   Carry a pen — and write on the card

7:01   Forgot your cards? The LinkedIn QR trick

7:55   No signal? The workaround

8:33   Scan the guest list, arrive early, find the host

10:02   Name tag on your right — and why

11:51   Drink in your left hand

12:21   Who to approach first

13:34   Working the drink station

14:05   Stop opening with “what do you do?”

15:03   Better questions — including the best one

15:40   “How did you fail this week?”

16:37   Ask the follow-up, don't make it about you

17:53   The best networkers are connectors

18:43   Mirroring — and the party trick

21:23   How to introduce two people

21:54   When someone doesn't want to meet you

23:48   Grace, and not being everybody's cup of tea

26:17   The trip question that opened a door

27:44   The elevator pitch: who do you help?

28:20   Names: using them, and forgetting them

30:32   Eye contact and what people notice

31:23   Three exit lines that don't feel rude

32:30   Follow up in 24–48 hours

33:40   Why AI-generated follow-ups fail

34:44   Three conversations, not thirty

35:12   A compliment, Dallas Meetup, and a casting call

37:57   When networking gives you “the ick”

38:30   Be a go-giver

39:15   Showing up bad at golf

41:28   Phone a friend, and shoot your shot

42:49   Thank you and close

43:35   The takeaways, all in one place 

That's the With Hat and Cattle promise: Bringing you stories from people who walk the walk and leave you better off for listening.

Connect with Dani Raschel Chou on Instagram @withhatandcattle or via email at [email protected]. 

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