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Dan’s Website In this episode, Courtney sits down with Dan, founder of Get Your Marriage On, for an honest, energizing conversation about intimacy, desire, and what it really takes to keep passion alive in long-term relationships. Together, they unpack the complexities of sexual connection—from the ways our cultural and family histories shape intimacy, to how couples can navigate the very normal experience of desire discrepancy without shame or blame.

Dan shares the personal journey that led him to develop his intimacy app, offering practical and playful tools that help couples communicate better, understand their individual needs, and bring more intentionality into their sex lives. The conversation dives into the difference between “horizontal” novelty (new experiences, fun ideas, trying things) and “vertical” novelty (deepening emotional connection), highlighting why both matter for desire to thrive.

Throughout the episode, Courtney and Dan emphasize that great sex is built on a foundation of emotional intimacy, personal growth, and daily micro-moments of connection. From scheduling intentional time together to embracing small, consistent acts of affection, they offer couples a roadmap for reigniting passion in a way that feels authentic, sustainable, and deeply satisfying.

This episode is a reminder that sexual connection isn’t something you luck into—it’s something you build, nurture, and grow together. When couples invest in intimacy, they unlock not just better sex, but a deeper, more fulfilling partnership.

Takeaways

-Connection can be multifaceted, including cultural and familial ties. -Sexual connection can be both a source of disconnection and connection in relationships. -Desire discrepancies are common in marriages and can be managed through communication. -The presence of desire differences isn’t the problem; how couples handle them is key. -Intimacy requires self-confrontation and understanding one’s own needs and desires. -Novelty in intimacy can be categorized into horizontal and vertical experiences. -Personal growth is essential for maintaining passion in long-term relationships. -Scheduling connection activities can enhance intimacy and lead to better sexual experiences. -Small daily acts of intimacy can lead to significant progress in relationships. -Intimacy is a foundation for great sex, and investing in it can unlock deeper connections.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Connection 03:31 Exploring Sexual Connection 09:00 The Journey to Intimacy 13:31 Desire Discrepancy in Relationships 18:04 Understanding Intimacy and Self-Confrontation 21:18 The Essence of Healthy Selfishness in Intimacy 24:38 Exploring Novelty in Long-Term Relationships 28:15 The Importance of Personal Growth in Relationships 30:44 Connection as the Foundation for Intimacy 42:03 Challenging the Norms of Passion in Relationships

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