18+ Listener Advisory: Beyond Vanilla is intended for adults aged 18 and over and contains frank discussions about sex, sexual health, relationships and ethical non-monogamy. Listener discretion is advised.

A listener sent us a question: “How common is it for someone to ejaculate in their play partners mouth in the lifestyle — and is that considered okay?”

It opened up a much bigger conversation.

Because when it comes to swinging, there isn’t a universal rulebook for what is or isn’t okay. What one person enjoys may be completely off-limits for someone else.

In Episode 36, we talk about consent, communication and why assumptions have no place in the lifestyle.

We discuss the importance of talking about boundaries before you play, checking in with new partners, and understanding that consent to one sexual activity doesn’t automatically mean consent to another.

We also explore etiquette when playing with other people, how couples can communicate their individual boundaries, and why being comfortable saying “yes”, “no” or “not for me” is such an important part of creating safer, more enjoyable experiences.

Ultimately, the answer to “Is this okay in the lifestyle?” is often very simple:

Have you talked about it?

Have they consented to it?

And is everyone involved genuinely comfortable with it?

Another honest, judgement-free conversation from Beyond Vanilla about the questions people want answered but don't always feel comfortable asking.