Who hasn’t found themselves wide awake at 3 a.m. with a racing mind?

You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re human, living in a culture that glorifies exhaustion and overstimulation.

If you’re a woman over 50 and waking up between 2–4am feeling wired, anxious, or restless, this episode is for you.

Midlife insomnia isn’t just a sleep issue—it’s often a nervous system and hormonal shift that most women are never taught how to regulate.

In this episode, I explain: • why sleep changes after menopause • how stress and cortisol disrupt deep rest • what actually helps your body feel safe enough to sleep again

I have nearly 30 years of experience helping women over 50 restore energy, calm their nervous system, and feel strong again—without pushing or extreme routines.

Resting is Not Wasted Time

Rest—even when you can’t sleep—isn’t wasted time. It’s medicine.

You’ve heard all the lectures about sleep and how important it is to your metabolism. Sometimes this just adds even more pressure during those restless nights. And anxiety and pressure are the opposite of what is helpful.

So many hormones naturally balance themselves during rest. If you are looking to maximize your energy, weight or strength in midlife, working with this natural system is key.

Busy-ness as a Badge of Honour

Somewhere along the line, busyness became a badge of honour. We say things like, ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead. Isn’t that crazy??? But the truth is, our bodies haven’t caught up with the pace of modern life. Twenty-four-seven stimulation, blue light, endless entertainment—our nervous system was never designed for this.

My dad was born in 1939 in a small handyman’s cottage on a farm. There was a wood stove for heat and a hand pump at the kitchen sink for running water. My grama had 3 babies in 4 years in that cottage with the help of her older sisters. Can you imagine???? I asked her once and she said, “it seemed busy at the time”. Anyway…. My dad grew up on that farm, rising with the sun and living in synch with natural rhythms. He went to a one room school house. Once, every three weeks or so, they would hitch up the horse and buggy and head the 5 miles into town. Buy the few things they couldn’t produce themselves on the farm. It was a big deal to expose themselves to the bustle of a town with almost 5000 people in it. Whew! Everyone was exhausted after that outing.

That was how my dad’s nervous system was programmed. Quiet country living. Most of our grandparents or a generation of so back were raised the same way. Seeing very few faces over the course of a day and travelling just a few miles from home. Not too exciting by today’s standards.

Think of the number of faces you saw today. The number of images, books, online stimulation, grocery items, etc. Your brain struggles to process all that stimuli. It’s not really wired for that. Our ANS is the same as generations of humans… the cave people really… maybe even dinosaurs. It can’t evolve at the pace of modern change. Do you remember getting a coloured tv? Your first home computer? How about the smart phone? We’re old enough to have experienced that pace of change first hand. It’s dizzying right?

It’s such an overwhelming pace of change and stimulation that our brains just default to auto pilot a lot.

Brains are super big energy gobblers. The biggest calorie burn in your body can be the brain. Your super intelligent body has adapted by shunting a lot of thinking and decisions to habits. Saves energy which is smart as most humans over the course of history didn’t have enough to eat.

But here’s the kicker: If you want to lose weight, feel energized, or learn something new, your brain needs more energy to change old habits. Which means rest isn’t optional—it’s the foundation.

Why Sleep is Less Stable Now in Midlife

This was easier, at least for me, when I was younger. A lot of kids can sleep anywhere if they’re tired enough. I used to sleep… wait for it… ten hours a night! Loved my bed in those days. Every person is wired a little differently but I bet most of us noticed sleep changes as we hit perimenopause. The dramatic change in hormones makes sleep much more challenging.

Here’s why. Your nervous system talks through neurons. Neurons tell your glands what hormones to release. Hormones tell you when to pee, when to eat, when to sleep… even when to feel angry.

In perimenopause, progesterone and estrogen levels drop. These hormones are an essential part of the cocktail that creates a relaxation response. That’s why sleep, mood, and energy often feel unpredictable.

When we skid into bedtime with high cortisol levels (the stress hormone) and insufficient melatonin (the circadian rhythm hormone that responds to increasing darkness), releasing into sleep is more difficult. AND we’re more likely to wake up after that first wave of sleep ie 3 am.

Knowing about cortisol and the changes in sex hormones is one thing. I want to give you solid strategies to start the shift to more natural rhythms. You do have power over hormones and using these tricks are part of your power. Video/audio resources to support you are available in the Sleep Solutions Course. Use promo code sleepbetter to get $10 off.

The Real Story on Sleep

How many of us wish we could get a solid 8 hours? What if I were to share that this goal isn’t necessary or even really worth it? Here’s why.

There are different stages of sleep.

* N1: dreamy, relaxed, drifting.

* N2: light sleep, body is letting go.

* N3 or Slow Wave Sleep: the deep physical recovery zone, critical for healing and learning. NB 20% of sleep is N3 for 20 yr olds, only 5% for 60 yr olds.

* REM: where your brain is wildly active, dreams happen, emotions and memories get sorted.

* We think waking at night is a failure, but it’s normal. Sleep is a series of waves. The first wave has the most deep sleep. Later waves carry more REM. So yes—you may pop awake between cycles. That’s biology, not brokenness. The pineal gland releases 4 hormones (melatonin, serotonin, epithalamin – a naturally occurring polypeptide extract from the pineal gland, known for its anti-aging (geroprotective) effects. It normalizes bodily functions, boosts stress resistance, and works by activating telomerase (to lengthen telomeres), increasing melatonin production, and acting as a powerful antioxidant, potentially slowing cellular aging and improving healthspan – and vasopressin – controls urination) from 9 pm – 2 am.

* Iron processing also changes so nerve signalling is more restless = harder to calm… and there’s just more inflammation in general in our bodies due to circulatory changes …. Which means being more wakeful is NORMAL.

It’s what we do and how we view the wakefulness that makes all the difference.

Turning the Bus Around

When we change behaviour, even in tiny ways, we can calm the all those imbalances. Systematically and patiently, we can train our ANS to “sleep through the night” just like we trained the babies.

That’s why small, sequential shifts are powerful. Sweeping changes? They alarm the habit brain, which just drags us back into overwhelm.

So the secret isn’t more effort. It’s more rest.

When we’re not sleeping, it’s nasty. Super frustrating. We get mad at ourselves. We do feel broken, even embarrassed to keep complaining about it. I was a yoga teacher, for heaven’s sake! How mortifying to drag my sorry butt to a morning class, bleary eyed and promising bliss to the masses. It was unacceptable so I did a deep dive into sleep science, yoga tools, and put them to the test in my own bedroom.

Here’s my most important finding. You don’t need to sleep solid for 8 hours in order to wake rested, focused and positive. What you need to do is find a way to self soothe during those wakeful times.

I know this first hand. I do not sleep solid. But I feel sooo much better since working through these tricks.

Most of us panic. We have to get up in the morning. Not another bad night?!!!

Picture this with me. It’s 3 am. Witching hour, right? You wake up. You could panic OR you could stay in bed where it’s warm and cosy. You need rest above all and you can still get that even if you’re not unconscious. Using the tricks we’ll share in just a few moments, you can self soothe.

Solid Strategies for 3 am Wake Ups

These tricks are based on the science of Non-Sleep Deep Rest, or NSDR. It is intentionally putting your brain into a relaxed, restorative state—without actually being asleep. It restores energy, calms hormones, primes learning. Think of it as plugging your phone into the charger. Research suggests that one hour of NSDR is equal to 4 hours of regular sleep cycles. That’s a super power if I’ve ever heard of one.

Strategies for the 3 a.m. wakeup:

* Acceptance — instead of fighting wakefulness, breathe and remind yourself another wave will come.

* Eye Relaxation Protocol— soften the gaze or close eyes gently, signalling safety to the brain.

* Backwards Breath — breathe in time with counting backwards

* Restorative Pose — even if you don’t fall back asleep, your brain still benefits.

You can get audio and video guidance for all these strategies, as well as further tips for how to set yourself up with a better morning routine too in my Sleep Solutions course. Use this code for a $10 off coupon (sleepbetter). This is the kind of work we do step-by-step inside my SHE Mindfulness Program.

When your nervous system feels safe, your body can heal. When your body heals, your brain learns. And when your brain learns, midlife becomes a season of possibility, not decline.

So tonight, when you wake in the wee hours, instead of panicking, try rest. Non-sleep deep rest. Because even when you can’t sleep, you can still restore.

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