You turn on the news, whether it be the TV, website, or podcast, and you find yourself immediately becoming depressed. The news just keeps getting worse and worse, and there is more uncertainty from the top, whether it be from the government, your employer, or family members. Politically, this is a high stress time. When one considers all the assassination attempts over the years starting with Gabby Giffords in 2011, through Charlie Kirk’s assassination, it is clear we are in a sustained period of political violence that is only getting more intense with time. 

So why should anyone hope?  Why not give up and just let the violence continue?  Why not give in to the logic that anyone who expresses an opinion or puts themselves out there to try to lead deserves to die?  Obviously because that is insane logic.

We at the Ascendant Project choose to be a light in the darkness.  And every listener needs to make the same choice as well.  The purpose of this essay is to encourage everyone not to give up hope. It is also to provide the listener with a plan to make a difference in the world around them by first making a difference in themselves.

The Change Within

The first step in this process, known as The Change Within, is to remember that people in the end are people just like you.  Conservative and Liberals have much in common.  Both love this country, and both are willing to run to make a difference.  The Republican party has been the pro-business party and choose a path to make America better through helping businesses which allow more people to get employed, and therefore paid.  Democrats choose to help people directly and regulate businesses from abusing the people via environmental damage, defective products, discrimination, or hoarding of wealth (or at least they used to).  But businesses need people and people need businesses.  So both are going towards the same goal, one top down and the other bottom up.

The second step is the Walt Whitman quote, “Be curious, not judgemental”.  If you start off a political discussion in judgment, it will immediately alienate whomever you are talking to.  An example of this would be to say to a person on the left, “No Kings?  Don’t they know we haven’t had a king since 1776?”.  Obviously a lead off statement like that would insinuate that anyone who participated in that protest was stupid.  There is no curiosity, only judgment.   A better start to the conversation would be, “I do not understand why people are marching in No Kings?  What are their concerns?”  So instead of judgments, you are asking questions to better understand people.

A key component in the second step is start any political conversation with empathy.  When a person on the other side of the aisle is upset, listen.  No human is perfect, and no political party is holy.  They may have valid concerns that you are not aware of or may not be covered in your echo chamber.  Empathy goes a long way to building respect.

The Third step is to develop an attitude of gratefulness.  Be thankful for those around you.  Help them when they need it.  Understand that your friends are choosing to be in your life and it is a wonderful thing, no matter their political affiliation.  View your problems in social circles as an opportunity to grow as a human being.  Understand that a feeling of loss means you love them still, so be willing to apologize as a tool of diplomacy.  It isn’t always important to win or be right. If you are thankful for them, you will appreciate their point of view.

The Fourth step is Forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself. Forgiveness of others. Forgiveness of the talking heads and politicians that drive you crazy.  You may still yearn for accountability, but to truly become powerful, you must forgive.  Free yourself from the hate that binds you. When you free yourself from the negativity, you become more effective and more powerful.

The last step in working on yourself is looking inside yourself and finding something unique and original that is good, and give it to the world.  Make a contribution, no matter how small.  It doesn’t matter if you succeed on a large scale or only affect your friends, but contribute.  You have influence, if not over the great things, then the small things in the lives of those around you.

The Truths About Your Relationship With The World

Once you have worked on yourself enough, take a look at the world around you.  You will see through the hate and all you see will be need.  You will find that in the end, this political fighting is about resources and control.  Many of us have not evolved past fighting over the watering hole. You will want to get into the game and make a difference.  There will be truths that will be revealed that did not see as clearly before.  You will want to remind the world of these truths.

The first truth is that you are in charge of you. Not your social media feed.  Not talking heads on TV.  Not angry podcasters.  Not even your employer, because you sell your employer your time. Not an assassins bullet who killed someone you listen to.  Not the opposing political party.  You are the person in charge of your life.  Change your algorithm.  My wife reports every ad she sees, and it has done wonders to improve her feed.

Second, you are important.  Your voice is important.  Your vote is important.  You have more sway than you realize.  The last 3 presidential elections have come down to a few votes in a few states.  In 2000, it came down to just a few hundred votes in Miami-Dade County.  You matter.

Third, because you matter, everyone is fighting for your attention.  Unplug.  Turn off the phone for a few hours once a week.  Go camping where there is no signal.  Reset.  Remember that your best friend needs to be you. Get introspective. Get meditative. Find your wisdom from within. Unleash what Quakers call “the inner christ” (small c).

Finally, understand that the present is tomorrow’s history.   Bad people make history leading us out of good times into darker ones. Good people make history leading us out of bad times into better ones. Make a difference.  Now is your time.  History isn’t written when things are easy.  Show the world what you are made of.  With empathy in your heart, your stance centered on the rock of your integrity, shape tomorrow.  Write that letter to your congressman.  Talk to your friend about a concern you have with their world view and listen.  Go to a protest held by someone across the aisle and ask questions.  Volunteer for a campaign.  Be an election judge.  Let your voice be known through your mouth, through your hands, and through your feet. Let your love be known through your ears.

The first is William Barber II strength of moral authority and spirit is amplified by his limp as demonstrated the Democratic National Convention in 2016. In this speech, he argues with a thunderous voice that the best way to strengthen our democracy is to love one another, no matter the background of the person. For any Christians out there, I’ve heard it said that you only love God as much as the person you love the least.

The second thing that I am reminded of is a scene from the third season of Ted Lasso where house boat guy is talking to Rebecca and he said something along the lines of, “that’s when I realized my divorce didn’t happen to me, it happened for me.” I want my tribulations with my eye to make me a better, more effective person. I want this trauma to free me from things that hold me back in life. Likewise, I want the trials that this nation is currently going through to make us a better people. I disagree with the statement “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. Our traumas only make us stronger if we learn to draw strength from how we face life after those traumas. But how we face life is a decision.

I will end with this quote from the movie “Kingdom of Heaven” spoken by the Leprous King.

I implore the reader and the listener: center yourself and begin your own game. Why give up hope when you can change the world inside of you and then impact the world around you. You can be the light in the darkness. You just have to commit to do the work.

Brian Smyers

Owner and Editor of the Ascendant Project

Biography

Corrections, Clarifications, and Addendums:

Although I had thought about the subject matter of this article before this publication of this Axios article, Jim VandeHei had a very similar message in his A Message to College Students

The title is drawn from Jim’s comments about his article on Morning Joe.

23:59 According to Gallup, more people identify as Independents rather than Republicans or Democrats since 2006.

49:29 Stephen Colbert asked Keanu Reeves, “What do you think happens when we die, Keanu Reeves?”. Keanu answered, “I know that the ones who love us will miss us.” The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, May 10th 2019

Mostly personal philosophical perspective so not much to fact check this episode.

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