Season 2 · Episode 8 | Ash BG

The milk, the school bags, the appointment nobody else remembered. If you’re tired of being the person who notices everything, come and have a listen. Ash BG and I talk about the work that happens in our heads before anyone sees a task — and why sharing the jobs is only part of the conversation.

Ash is the writer behind You Wanted This and the founder of Tether. We get into motherhood, resentment, whose career bends when family life needs something, and what our children learn by watching us. Ash asks men to take more responsibility; I ask what all of us can do differently. We don’t agree on every starting point, and that’s part of what makes this such a worthwhile chat.

Inside our conversation

• Why having a baby can pull even progressive couples into traditional roles, and why “give me a list” leaves the thinking with the same person.
• Parental leave, workplace flexibility and the assumption that Mum’s career can absorb the disruption.
• The milk example, my before-7.30-am list, and how Tether makes cognitive and emotional labour visible.
• The manosphere, pornography, consent, healthy intimacy and the need for better male role models.
• Our discussion of reported sexual violence involving young people, victim blaming, school culture, consistent discipline and leadership.
• Why jokes about harm matter, the reluctance to speak up, and the barriers people describe around accountability.
• Making room for boys’ emotions, questioning inherited relationship patterns, and what “decentring men” means to Ash.
• The rapid-fire questions: apologising, shared responsibility, respect, hope and an honest conversation with yourself.

This conversation includes discussion of sexual violence and abuse.

Take something from the chat into your week
Get the free mental-load guide on the podcast website — five lessons, a practical exercise and a conversation starter.
Visit this episode’s website page for the guide, player and transcript.

Where shall we go next?
Vashti Whitfield on reframing your life — if our chat about old patterns and who you are beyond your roles stayed with you.
Dr Mark Williams on screens and attention — to keep exploring what our online habits model for our children.

Connect with Ash
You Wanted This · Tether · Tether on Instagram · Tether on the App Store

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