What do you do when someone you love is struggling with substance use—but pleading, arguing, or threatening only seems to make things worse?

In this episode, Ivona Bhadha, LCSW, talks with Michelle Kuecker, a certified CRAFT clinician, about a different way families can respond. CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) gives loved ones practical tools to communicate more effectively, set healthy boundaries, reinforce positive behaviors, and encourage treatment—without relying on confrontation.

Ivona and Michelle explore why families often get stuck in cycles of worry, nagging, rescuing, and conflict, even when everything they are doing comes from love. They discuss how to “catch your loved one doing good,” recognize when our efforts may unintentionally reinforce unhealthy behaviors, and create opportunities for change without trying to control another person’s recovery.

They also talk about an often-overlooked part of supporting someone with substance use: taking care of yourself. When family members are exhausted, anxious, or constantly on alert, it becomes much harder to respond thoughtfully rather than react from fear.

Michelle shares practical CRAFT strategies for setting expectations and boundaries before a crisis happens, responding to slips or relapse, and returning to strategies that have worked in the past rather than feeling like you have to start all over again.

This conversation is especially relevant for first responder families, where concerns about privacy, career, reputation, safety, and the impact of substance use on the entire family can make these situations particularly complicated.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What makes CRAFT different from traditional interventions
• How to reinforce positive behaviors
• How to set boundaries without unnecessary conflict
• The difference between supporting and unintentionally enabling
• Why self-care is part of effective family support
• How to prepare for a slip or relapse
• How families can create opportunities for treatment while maintaining connection

Helpful Resources: 

• • Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change
  • Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening
  • Helping Families Help – CRAFT Groups: https://helpingfamilieshelp.com/groups-for-families
  • Founder of CRAFT Dr.Meyers: https://www.robertjmeyersphd.com/

The goal isn’t to control your loved one’s recovery. It’s to learn how to show up differently—and take care of yourself along the way.