In this episode of Surviving Life’s Pickles, host Scott Martin and his wife Hillary sit down with their guest, Jayson Sykes. They open with the show’s usual gratitude round:

* Scott is grateful for his morning meditation.

* Hillary is grateful for being able to feel her emotions after years of numbing them.

* Jayson is grateful for clean water, his connections with people, and his morning mindfulness practice.

The rest of the episode is Jayson’s story. He grew up on a small farm in Pleasant Grove, Utah. His father was a brick mason and an alcoholic, and his mother was in and out of prison. He was molested around age nine, and that is also when he started sneaking beers. By his early teens he had been expelled from school and had gone through outpatient treatment, probation, and a wilderness program. His drug use escalated through meth, heroin, and pills, and he was in and out of jail.At 19, his father died by suicide. Jason says he was angry because his dad “took that option off the table” for him. He then spent roughly seven years trying to blot out his existence, through drugs and eventually alcohol.His turning point came in August 2012. After a seizure from detoxing alone, a hospitalization, and a blackout at a party, he woke up and admitted he was an alcoholic. He checked into inpatient treatment the next day.

Over the next 14 years he:

* Found a higher power. His sponsor Tony pointed out that he had been talking to his dad at the cemetery all along, and that was already a connection to something bigger than himself.

* Found a path through Native American ceremony, including sweat lodges, vision quests, and Sundance.

* Built a career helping others. He is now program director of a men’s mental health program, working with people in psychosis and with suicidality.

* Had his criminal record expunged this past year.

The conversation also covers:

* The seasons and mental health, including Utah’s place in the “suicide belt.”

* The idea that lost loved ones are still with us in spirit.

* A friend’s hundred-mile ultramarathons as a spiritual experience.

Near the end, Jayson turns the questions on the hosts. Scott shares his own story, including a suicide attempt and the morning-after realization that he needed help. The episode closes with a challenge to listeners to share it with someone who needs to hear it.

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