Most people understand grieving a death, a job loss, or a break up. However, attitudes toward domestic violence can make it extremely difficult for a person to grieve the loss of theirrelationship. Others may assume that they should be happy to be free of the person and not allow them the same grace extended to people who experience other loses.

JBWS staff member Maria Lagattuta joins this episode of Unsilenced to explore the hidden grief that accompanies domestic violence. We discuss why survivors grieve abusive relationships, the many losses abuse creates, and practical ways to begin healing with compassion.

In this episode:

• Why it's normal to grieve an abusive relationship

• The stages of grief and how they apply to domestic violence

• Losing your identity, friendships, home, and future dreams

• Why healing isn't linear and why that's okay

• Practical coping skills, grounding techniques, and self-compassion

• Finding community and rebuilding life after abuse

CONTENT:

0:00 Introduction
1:38 Why We Grieve Abusive Relationships
5:27 The Sudden Loss No One Talks About
8:30 ”Why Am I Still Sad?” Understanding Survivor Grief
15:03 Losing Your Identity Through Abuse
21:33 How to Cope with Overwhelming Grief
27:31 Practical Ways to Be Kind to Yourself
31:05 Trauma Changes How the Brain Remembers
34:47 Don't ”Move On” Move Through the Grief
35:31 Why Grief Comes Back in Waves
38:30 A Message for Anyone Feeling Alone
40:19 The Healing Power of a Good Goodbye
45:22 About JBWS and Resources

Resources:

• JBWS' services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠JBWS.org/services ⁠⁠⁠⁠

• General resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ jbws.org/resources⁠⁠⁠⁠

• If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠jbws.org/jcnv⁠⁠⁠⁠

• If you don’t live or work predominately in Morris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠thehotline.org ⁠⁠