Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse
Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse
Podcast Description
There is a culture of silence around the issue of domestic abuse and this podcast is here to break that silence. Run by members of JBWS, a domestic violence agency, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse doesn't shy away from having difficult conversations about abuse to help others recognize that they may be in unhealthy relationships or using unhealthy behaviors themselves.
Podcast Insights
Content Themes
The podcast covers a range of topics related to domestic abuse, including teen dating violence, legal protections for victims, emotional abuse dynamics, and societal perceptions of abuse. Episode examples include exploring how the 'Strong Black Woman' stereotype affects Black victims and discussions on the impact of cultural norms on Hispanic victims of abuse.

There is a culture of silence around the issue of domestic abuse and this podcast is here to break that silence. Run by members of JBWS, a domestic violence agency, Unsilenced: Real Conversations About Abuse doesn’t shy away from having difficult conversations about abuse to help others recognize that they may be in unhealthy relationships or using unhealthy behaviors themselves.
People who have grown up with domestic violence may not know how to have a healthy relationship. As much as they may have hated the way their mother or father was treated, children who witnessed abuse may not have the tools to break the cycle of violence in their own relationships.
In this episode, Juli Harpell-Elam discusses how she works with men, women, and teenagers who have used abuse to encourage accountability and behavior change. She explores the roots of abusive behavior, accountability, emotional regulation, and what real change actually looks like.
This episode offers insight for people recognizing unhealthy behaviors in themselves, while also emphasizing that survivors are never responsible for someone else’s change. It discusses:
- How childhood exposure to domestic violence impacts adult relationships
- Why anger is often connected to fear, shame, or vulnerability
- Emotional regulation skills to prevent escalation
- Why accountability is necessary for healing and healthier relationships
- Resources for people seeking help to stop abusive behaviors
CONTENT:
(0:00) Introduction
(1:17) Recognizing Abuse
(2:50) Awareness vs. Intent
(4:17) Signs of Control
(7:24) After Hurting Your Partner
(10:07) Shame & Accountability
(12:25) Escalation Warning Signs
(14:48) Emotional Regulation Skills
(15:47) Using Healthy Time-Outs
(17:39) Building Support Systems
(19:33) Emotional Abuse Patterns
(22:31) Beliefs Behind Abuse
(25:24) Why People Use Control
(26:14) Anger & Vulnerability
(29:31) The Cost of Abuse
(33:20) Silent Treatment & Phone Checking
(36:17) Getting Help to Change
(40:39) Fear of Judgment
(42:05) Breaking the Silence
(43:33) Is Change Lifelong?
(49:22) Accountability & Survivor Safety
(54:00) About JBWS and Resources
Resources:
- JBWS' services: JBWS.org/services
- General resources: jbws.org/resources
- Helpline for people using abuse: 877-898-3411 or https://acallforchangehelpline.org/
- If you notice controlling or unhealthy behaviors in yourself, JBWS can help. Call 97.539.7801 or visit jbws.org/jcnv
- If you don’t live or work predominately inMorris County or Passaic County in New Jersey, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org

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