“A boundary does not force another person to agree with me, understand me, forgive me, or change anything at all. It identifies what I will and will not continue participating in.”

Ten years ago, Natasha Elaine ended a 20-year friendship after one hurt too many. The truth? She had never communicated what needed to change after the first few hurts. By the time the last one landed, she was no longer looking to establish a boundary.

Baby… it was time for a wall.

In Part 2 of the Faith After Fire series, Natasha continues her conversation with That Therapist Jawn, licensed clinical social worker Psalm McDaniels, about the difference between establishing a healthy boundary and building a brick wall.

Together, they examine the fear of losing people, the pressure many Black women feel to remain accommodating, the superhero complex, and why feeling guilty does not necessarily mean we have done something wrong.

Inside This Episode

• Why saying no can feel threatening when everyone expects you to say yes

• How self-talk can help us move through guilt and communicate boundaries

• How therapy helps us recognize patterns, notice our bodies, and rebuild trust in ourselves

• The difference between a healthy limit and an impenetrable wall

• How to use I-statements and communicate with clarity, kindness, and confidence

• Why another person’s anger does not have to determine our response

• What it means to practice relational sovereignty

Scriptural Anchors

Psalm 141:3 NIV: “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

Proverbs 15:1 NIV: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Reflection Question

Where have I built a wall because I did not know how to communicate a boundary?

Take your answer to God and ask whether that wall needs a door, an additional lock, or permission to remain exactly where it is.

Word of the Week

Sovereignty: The authority to govern.

Relational sovereignty is the ability to remain connected in love while governing your own heart, choices, words, and responses.

We cannot let their lightning trigger our thunder.

Resources and Links

Find the Faith After Fire Journal at rrwspodcast.com.

Hear the complete radio replay, music and all, on Mixcloud by searching RRWS Podcast.

Watch the complete, unedited conversation with Psalm on YouTube, and connect with her on Instagram at @ThatTherapistJawn.

Song of the Week

“Rap Like a Girl” by Porsha Love, featuring LaNell Grant, TuKool Tiff, and Tylynn.

If this episode spoke to you, subscribe to Roads, Rocks, Weeds + Soil and share it with somebody who either says yes until they snap or builds a wall before building a bridge.

They may simply need better tools.

Until next time: Pray. Read. Listen. Obey.

God loves you way more! ❤️

PODBEAN CHAPTER MARKERS & TIMESTAMPS
00:00 – Reflection: From 10-Year Brick Walls to Setting Real Boundaries
00:43 – Welcome to Rose Rocks, Weeds & Soil (ICU Radio 97.3)
01:43 – The Rocks: Fear of Losing People & The Superhero Complex in Women
03:20 – The Weeds: Toxic Beliefs, Guilt, & Unhealthy Sacrifices
04:05 – How Therapy Helps Us Recognize Patterns & Trust Our Intuition
06:27 – Overlooking Red Flags: What Unchecked Harm Does to Self-Worth
08:46 – Brick Walls vs. Healthy Limits: The Space Between Disconnection & Connection
11:00 – Practical Tools: I-Statements, Delivery, & Scriptural Wisdom (Psalm 141:3)
13:55 – Natasha’s Reflection: Moving from Retaliation to Relational Growth
16:30 – Prayer over Boundaries, Self-Control, & Wise Discernment
17:50 – Word of the Week: Relational Sovereignty
18:30 – Featured Artist Spotlight: Portia Love & “Rap Like a Girl” / Closing Remarks