What does it mean to be a man when the traditional definitions of masculinity have never quite fit? In this episode of ILLUMENATE, Chris Tidrick sits down with author and Faith Formed podcast host Justin Belt for an honest conversation about identity, purpose, masculinity, and belonging. Justin shares how his experiences—from discovering at 13 that he was adopted to becoming a husband and father of five—have shaped his understanding of himself. An introvert, deep thinker, and lifelong creative, Justin describes learning to see his sensitivity, emotional awareness, and tendency to process deeply not as shortcomings, but as essential parts of his authentic manhood.

Justin and Chris explore the cultural expectations men inherit and the damage that can come from trying to live up to them. For Justin, one of the most important things he has had to deconstruct is a deceptively simple word: “should.” He should have reached a certain level of success. His books should have sold more copies. His podcasts should have attracted bigger audiences. His church plant should have succeeded. Justin reflects on how these expectations can become a source of shame and explains why learning to live with the reality of what is—while still pursuing what could be—has become an important part of his growth.

The conversation also turns to loneliness, friendship, vulnerability, and the deeply human desire to be chosen. Justin candidly discusses feeling lonely even in rooms full of people and acknowledges that he currently lacks the kind of deep male friendships he desires. Rather than waiting for connection to find him, however, he is learning to intentionally reach out and create it. Chris and Justin discuss how men often “triangulate” their relationships through sports, hobbies, or other shared interests instead of connecting directly through emotion and vulnerability. They challenge men to practice the deeper conversations that develop emotional intelligence, trust, resilience, and genuine intimacy.

Ultimately, Justin offers a powerful reframing of belonging: rejection isn’t necessarily evidence of personal failure—it can simply be information that helps us discover where we fit. For Justin, faith provides the bedrock of knowing he belongs to God, but he also offers a message that extends beyond faith: before we can truly belong with others, we have to learn to belong to ourselves. Instead of waiting to be chosen, we can choose ourselves, take the risk of reaching toward others, and even become the person who creates the community we’ve been searching for. It’s an invitation to embrace imperfection, release the need to have everything figured out, and keep walking forward together.

You can learn more about and connect with this episode’s guest at: justindbelt.com