Stillness sounds simple, but for many people it feels uncomfortable, frustrating, or even impossible.

In this episode, Becca sits down with Gerry Hussey, human performance coach, author, and the co-founder of Soul Space, for a conversation that feels especially relevant in January, when motivation is low and self-criticism is often high.

Together they explore why modern life pulls us into constant distraction and disconnection, and how that keeps the nervous system stuck in chronic stress. Gerry shares a powerful metaphor for stillness (the “lake” story) and explains why the goal is not to avoid difficult emotions, but to recognise them sooner, stop suppressing them, and return to calm with more awareness.

They also unpack the hidden ways self-talk shapes your nervous system and your choices, including how subconscious beliefs can quietly reroute you back into familiar habits (even when those habits are hurting you). Becca and Gerry talk about identity, why real change often requires discomfort, and how “choose your hard” can become a practical framework for moving forward.

The episode finishes with a grounded reminder that transformation does not start with more pressure, it starts with being a friend to yourself, asking what you truly need, and taking one small, honest step.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and why this conversation matters in January

01:16 The truth about “negative” emotions and why stillness feels so hard

03:13 The lake metaphor: how calm creates clarity when life feels chaotic

07:35 Distraction, stress, and what we’re really avoiding

12:34 Gerry’s turning point: anxiety, regulation, and rebuilding from the ground up

17:10 Self-talk, shame, and how your inner voice shapes your nervous system

23:56 Identity change: why real transformation requires discomfort

36:11 Dopamine, habits, and practical ways to reduce “double-jobbing”

43:59 Time, efficiency, and why busyness is not productivity

50:47 Accountability, community, and rebuilding real connection after COVID

58:59 The closing message: self-compassion and taking one honest next step

If this episode resonated, feel free to share it with someone who might need to hear it, and as always, thank you for listening.

You can find Becca over on Instagram, Facebook or TikTok at @healthwithholland, where she shares practical education around nervous system regulation, women’s health, and sustainable change.

To explore more resources, courses, and the weekly newsletter, visit https://healthwithholland.com

You can also connect with Gerry Hussey on Instagram at @gerry_hussey, where he shares insights on mindset, performance, regulation, and personal growth.