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Episode 35

Guest – Pete Dane

This is a touching story of a man, by the name of Peter Dane, who has really seen it all – literally from both sides of the fence, and I mean both sides! 

By all accounts, Peter was an upstanding law-abiding citizen, having spent 19 years working within the NSW law enforcement and criminal justice system, to then being managed by it! 

He was hard-working, a loving, and devoted father, a genuine, straight-shooter, and all round good bloke, that so many people easily got along with! 

Unfortunately, after having separated from his now ex-wife back in late 2016, after having spent 18.5 years together, things turned sour quite quickly! Having three (3) children from this union, his ex-wife began to make things very difficult for him in seeing his children (constantly withholding the children from him and playing mind games etc), whereby he was forced to commence family court proceedings in order to gain fair access. Such family court proceedings went back and forth through the family court system for about five (5) years or so, costing him hundreds and thousands of dollars along the way, and at the end, very little was gained!

Shortly after his separation from his ex-wife, his ex-wife began to bring their personal marital/relationship issues into his workplace (via her attending the house of, and speaking to one of Peter's female work colleagues at the time), coupled with her making multiple fabricated, vexatious, and malicious allegations against him, which in turn caused Peter enormous and irreparable damage to his work environment and relationships with his then work colleagues. This was all in part to his ex-wife ”rebelling” and her ”resentment” against the separation, as she made a comment to Peter just prior to him leaving the family home, saying words to the effect of ”The moment you walk out this door, I'm going to make your life a fuckin living hell, make no mistake about that, you hear me”! By all accounts his ex-wife was a very ”scorned”, ”spiteful”, and ”resentful” woman! 

In late 2017, about 12 months or so after his marriage separation, Peter (with reservations at the time) began a new relationship with a woman he met and fonded a strong relationship with through work. What appeared to start out great, soon turned out to be a living nightmare! Peter describes how his new partner (now ex-partner who he was in a romantic relationship with for about two (2) years), was fixated (on his ex-wife), and would constantly bring up matters involving his ex-wife and her toxic and hostile behaviour. His ex-partner would constantly (on a near daily basis) engage in heavy alcohol use (to the point of intoxication), whereby she would become extremely aggressive, abusive, threatening, throwing objects at him, and constantly looking for and wanting to engage in heated arguments and confrontations, namely over matters his ex-wife had and was continually causing etc! She would also make up things to start an argument, that simply weren't there or true! 

Peter describes how once his ex-wife became aware of his new relationship, things with his ex-wife deteriorated rapidly, and spiralled out of control, whereby she took things to another level! Peter describes how he was subjected to countless violent threats, abuse, hostilities etc from his ex-wife and some of her family members; he was subjected to physical assaults by his ex-wife, including attempts by his ex-wife to run him over in her motor vehicle while their three (3) children where inside, his ex-wife turning up to his house uninvited and creating a scene at the house (yelling, screaming, making verbal threats etc), including kicking the front door, amongst many other incidents. 

Peter explains he made about 11 reports to police about these various incidents, seeking an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO) be taken out against his ex-wife, but it was to no avail. It was only after his 12th police report being lodged, and his car being damaged by his ex-wife, that police finally took out a ADVO. Despite such, Peter advises that his ex-wife not only breached such ADVO once, but twice, and in turn was only given a ”verbal warning” from the Courts regarding such breaches. 

Given the significant toxic and hostile issues Peter was experiencing, namely involving his ex-wife, and ex-partner, coupled with the access limitations he was having in being able to see his three (3) children at the time; Peter's mental health had deteriorated rapidly, to the point whereby he sadly made numerous suicide attempts, resulting in him having to spend many weeks in and out of the ICU, hospitals, and psychiatric units. By all accounts, Peter should have been dead by his poor chosen actions at the time, but by some absolute miracle, he is thankfully still alive and here with us which is amazing!

Sadly, in late 2019, things between him, his ex-partner, and his ex-wife continued to rapidly deteriorate, coupled with the fact his three (3) children were being withheld from him by his ex-wife, which had tipped him over the edge. Very sadly, and unfortunately, as a result of Peter reacting, acting out, and engaging in some very poor choices and poor behaviour on a particular night, he found himself in some serious trouble with the law, whereby he was charged by police with several DV related offences, to which he plead guilty to, and was subsequently incarcerated for! 

It takes a real man to own up to his mistakes, and Peter fully and openly acknowledges, accepts, and takes full responsibility for all his wrongdoings, his poor choices, and his unacceptable behaviour (without minimising), regarding the events of what happened on that horrendous night! 

This is definitely a life-changing story on so many fronts, which is not to be missed!!

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